Letter to Joss Whedon

August 14, 2014

Dear Joss,

I’m throwing down the gauntlet.

Lately, I can’t seem to attend a Minor Brook Elementary School run-a-thon or potluck without some parent telling me that you and I should be working together.

I know. Nutty.

"You should send your stuff to Joss Whedon." 

That’s what they say.

“Alright,” I tell them. “Stop it, already.”

Then I steer the conversation to topics like our upcoming Xylophone Fundraiser, or last year’s snow days—teaching until June twentieth? You have gotta be kidding me!—or that new must-have book of movement songs for Kinders.

I don't want to toot my own horn, but I’m told that I’m the best music teacher they’ve ever had at Minor Brook. I can’t imagine that’s true, although our choir, the "Majors from Minor" is up to thirty-seven voices now. That’s double from three years ago! I’ve had to order more bandanas.

It’s about growing your fan base. You know all about that.

So Joss, I thought I'd take a minute out of my overwhelming schedule – laminating treble clef bookmarks – to send you this note.

Hey, you’re a world-class, Oscar-nominated screenwriter. You’ve changed the world—don't even get me started on "Firefly"—and I’m a K-2 music teacher in Ballard, Washington. The pairing would be delightfully unlikely, and isn't that what you do best?

I say we give it a go. I mean, if nothing else, my parents will leave me alone and we’ll both have some great stories to share at Pre-Oscar Parties, cocktail gatherings at Universal, and Xylophone Fundraisers.

(For more information: MINORNEEDSXYLOS@minorbrookschool.org)

Have your people call my people. My assistant's name at Minor Brook is Patty Loo. She’s expecting your call. She’ll be at the front desk, unless it's recess.


Scott Warrender