Letter to Joss Whedon

August 14, 2014

Dear Joss,

I’m throwing down the gauntlet.

Lately, I can’t seem to attend a Minor Brook Elementary School run-a-thon or potluck without some parent telling me that you and I should be working together.

I know. Nutty.

"You should send your stuff to Joss Whedon." 

That’s what they say.

“Alright,” I tell them. “Stop it, already.”

Then I steer the conversation to topics like our upcoming Xylophone Fundraiser, or last year’s snow days—teaching until June twentieth? You have gotta be kidding me!—or that new must-have book of movement songs for Kinders.

I don't want to toot my own horn, but I’m told that I’m the best music teacher they’ve ever had at Minor Brook. I can’t imagine that’s true, although our choir, the "Majors from Minor" is up to thirty-seven voices now. That’s double from three years ago! I’ve had to order more bandanas.

It’s about growing your fan base. You know all about that.

So Joss, I thought I'd take a minute out of my overwhelming schedule – laminating treble clef bookmarks – to send you this note.

Hey, you’re a world-class, Oscar-nominated screenwriter. You’ve changed the world—don't even get me started on "Firefly"—and I’m a K-2 music teacher in Ballard, Washington. The pairing would be delightfully unlikely, and isn't that what you do best?

I say we give it a go. I mean, if nothing else, my parents will leave me alone and we’ll both have some great stories to share at Pre-Oscar Parties, cocktail gatherings at Universal, and Xylophone Fundraisers.

(For more information: MINORNEEDSXYLOS@minorbrookschool.org)

Have your people call my people. My assistant's name at Minor Brook is Patty Loo. She’s expecting your call. She’ll be at the front desk, unless it's recess.

Best,

Scott Warrender